cloth diapers... yes I'm serious

So I actually dreaded this post because it literally contains so much info it makes my brain hurt.  But I thought that I would share straight forward insight about cloth diapering in a Q&A format;)

so Here goes the poop... I mean the scoop. sorry. horrible joke.

1. Why cloth diapering.. it's the year 2016?  Are you stuck in the past?
No not at all.  I am sure parents have many different reasons for diapering with cloth...  here are my personal top reasons for the iconic choice:

• I am a firm believer that household daily chemicals effect us.  They build up in our bodies and over time reek havoc-- free radical producing foods and chemicals.  So at all cost, I like to  keep chemicals to a minimum.  This is my number one reason for cloth diapering for my family. I was always very uncomfortable with the chemical make up of traditional diapers.  However, if you are willing to spend a bit more $$ you now can purchase chemical free disposables for your babes. We do it for overnight purposes sometimes and on our diaper wash days.  However nothing replaces cloth. Or at least I believe that. But a momma's got to do what a momma's got to do-- if cloth doesn't work for you find what does!!
•  Secondly... it's good for the environment. Honestly landfills come at a cost to us and even to the quality of air we breathe.   I'm quoting small footprint family's blog below and you can check it out here for a good full read of the article... I guarantee you will be amazed at the information you find here. http://www.smallfootprintfamily.com/dangers-of-disposable-diapers I'm always amazed that most parents follow the American Academy of Pediactrics without fail when it comes to vaccines and outbreaks-- but very few know that they also request that diapers not be put in the traditional trash, as they  lead to disease and infection in the soil.  Sounds over the top I know... and yes I have thrown many many disposable diapers in the garbage can.  But you must at least think that it's interesting?  Its said that it takes 500 years at least for a diaper and it's organic matter to decompose in a landfill.  Just some interesting facts for thought.
• Lastly, we cloth diaper for finaical reasons... with both of my boys in disposable diapers for one week-- with wipes, it cost my family $75 per week.  Our complete set of cloth diapers were under $300.  I have used the set on both boys... and then I will resale them, as they will continue on... and it's not gross- they get disinfected after each use very properly-- as I will touch on that later. I think that the numbers speak for themselves here...

2. What cloth do you recommend?  

I think the anatomy of boys and girls are so different, and I also think that skin is different from baby to baby as well as each phase of infantcy to toddlerhood... so my approach changes as I go. but these 3 options seem to encapsulate well what we have seen works best for us...

• Green Mountain Diapers Organic "work horses" with flip reusable covers, Or wool shorties and longies'.  http://www.greenmountaindiapers.com/workhorse.html 

          I absolutely love these work horses for new born and little fragile bottoms.... They are soft organic and have snaps.  Not to mention, they are very very economical.  If you are not into folding refolds, it seems that workhorses are a must for you.  You simply snap the diaper on and throw on a cover over the top.  My favorite covers of choice are "flip" covers by bum genius.  

see here: http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?products_id=2220

Unless your baby poops-- and it gets on the cover---you just wipe out the liner and use it again again and again.  I always changed our flip covers if poop was present at all (it didn't even have to get on the cover) but for simple pee's I just wiped out and reused.  All together, We had 12 flip covers and about 22 workhorses.  These are perfect for the new babes with sensitive bottoms.  

My second favorite cover is a wool cover.  In the cloth diapering world we reference wool covers as bullet proof;) They do not leak AT all if fitted properly.  They are super cute and come in long pants for winter or colder nights... and shorts for year round... totally worth it and super adorable.  see here:  https://www.etsy.com/listing/244106750/grateful-buns-soaker-longies-3-layers?ref=featured_listings_row

or here are some other favorites for wool:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/153813343/upcycled-wool-longies-soaker-cover?ref=shop_home_active

• Because I have boys,  prefolds and work horses did not work forever on them... and it seemed whether I liked it or not I was headed for a pocket diaper with a fleece lining. I would say my boys can stay in work horses until about 5 months old or so and then we unanimously all together decided a pocket option was best for a little boy toddler.  Pockets although made of synthetic materials seem to wick moisture away from heavy wetters more affectively.  The main driving factor for us moving into a pocket diaper, is because  it is very uncomfortable for prefolds or even the organic work horses to press against babies precious parts;) We found our boys were very very unhappy and it actually was painful for them.  The pocket diaper was amazing because instead of being "built up" against the babies skin with layers of cloth the pocket diaper's layers sink down into the pocket keeping all pressure off of baby--- creating a much comfortable diaper for toddler boys. We recommend "Bum Genius 5.0" pockets. See here:http://www.bumgenius.com/style/bumgenius-original-5-0/

• Our last and final recommendation were introduced to me by my friend Katie.  She loves this particular organic pre fold style for the softness and ease.  She also seems to have no problem with using these on a growing boy baby as well.  She loves these because they don't leave marks on babies skin from elastic and most importantly are organic. No fleece and no micro fiber.  You can use the covers they provide or you may use a flip cover or a wool as described earlier.

3. How do I wash my dippers and with what?

• Here is the gross part... for breast fed babies poop is water soluble you don't have to dump or rinse before washing. for babies on solid foods poop must be rinsed and flushed before laundering... so there you have it. I recommend these flushable liners for dumping the dirty out... http://www.thanksmama.com/Bio_Soft_Liners_p/bms-333.htm?1=1&CartID=0                  or the bum genius sprayer is an excellent choice, see here:  http://www.bumgenius.com/style/diaper-sprayer/
• I recommend Charlie's Soap for diaper cleaning. And it's pretty simple, I just follow the directions on the site for cloth diaper washing.  You may choose to add a disinfectant such as Bleach, vinegar , or hydrogen peroxide in each cycle.  For moms avoiding any bleach whatsoever you can ditch it, and the hydrogen peroxide works incredibly well. I literally just use the same peroxide as I would use on cuts from the first aid department.  Or of course White cooking vinegar will do the trick as a food based option.  Here are the washing instructions we follow straight from Charlie's Soap's website (just print it out and stick above your washer!) :

          http://www.charliesoap.com/images/b2b/fab_sheets/diaper_washing.pdf

          "Stripping" is a must if you wash your cloth diapers and they smell like ammonia (pee), if you buy used diapers from someone... or lastly, if you have noticed that your diapers are not as absorbent as they were before...it's time to strip them.

happy diapering mama!!!!!

                       

when failure is winning... and super hero toddlers

The past 2 days have been a complete whirl wind of mothering.  I cannot say that I have been perfect-- but nor did I want to be.  Which brings me to an "off the cuff" discussion of failure and thriving...

I think over the last 2 days of rhythm I have come to remember that my children are not puppets they are heartbeats-- sometimes rhythm doesn't go as "planned" and that is okay.

Tuesday is now deemed as errand day on our weekly rhythm-- it's where we may find ourselves in the  car for really what may be the only time during the week-- we might have a outside activity that we drive to, but errand day is strictly business... we get it done and get back home.

Some weeks on Tuesday we will only be needing to run to the chiropractor and back again and some days its more extensive than that.  This week was a more extensive Tuesday of errands, but the boys handled it great and were champions about it all.  We still found a snack at the right moment and  outdoor play with great friends.  So in short it was fun.

I talk about this day in particular because just like our kids are heartbeats and not puppets so are we as moms and parents.  We have to understand Grace to understand a beautiful mechanism of give and take.  And sometimes in these graceful moments we can find ourselves letting go and plowing through a boundary of an anxiety of our own.

I usually have a rule about errands... get them done as quick as you can and if you have to be out and about for a long period of time then make sure you are home no later than 4pm.  It gives you a chance to regroup and settle in for a normal sit down meal.

This Tuesday did not look like that at all.  We arrived home late, and the boys needed to run and get their legs going and their little brains working.  (Remember preschool age children learn through movement at this stage of life- so it's not the time for all day car riding every day;)   But it happens... and this was one of those days.)  The sun was definitely going down rather quickly with temperatures dropping and rain clouds looming.  I knew what was about to happen. "mom can we go outside and play in the dark" -- ??
my response in my brain was: "absolutely not. it's cold about to down-pour rain and it's dark-- we are way off rhythm - absolutely no.  get in the bath tub now."
HOWEVER,
My response in my heart was quite different... "yes absolutely, we are throwing it all to the wind for 30 minutes -- run your hearts out little babies, it's not every night we get to play in the dark and the cold and the rain."

For me, many moments parenting the way I want and the way I actually do are often times 2 different things.  It's a key component in how I make decisions per second.  In this case and in 95% of the other cases -- I go with my heart. Sometimes your heart will tell you "nope we are going inside and that's that" but often times it's calling us to loosen the reigns and trust in something much larger than us.  It's hard because we as parent's I believe are still being parented as well... at least if we are open to that notion.

What I'm say is in reality, I cannot talk about my home and my rhythm without talking about hearing from something greater than myself in life's little moments of struggle. For a parent these moments are many.  But I have a secret about our lives that takes the edge off... It gets us to the "heart-making" moments much faster.  We parent in the Spirit.  

And no I don't mean some mythological creature when I say spirit.

I mean that in our home and in our little 4 person family we are followers of Christ, and We believe that the Holy Spirit still moves and is authentically speaking into our lives.  We believe in the Gospel of grace (even when it means a little grace for ourselves) and that the radical gospel of grace can set you free.  Free not as in religion, but free as in product of selfless love poured out over us.  We don't do religion in our home.  We live on the shoulders of Christ who totally allowed himself to massacred for our sin as he became it on the cross,  so that we could be great, free and righteous.

So when I made the decision tonight to let my babes run in the dark in the back yard in the cold night's air -- I didn't make that decision in my head- I heard it in the spirit and I knew that letting go was okay and that outside of my big failing rhythm of the day they needed this.  But I came to find out I did as well...

As we journeyed back inside and their little muddy shoes happily glided over my off white wool rug, I had no idea it was only just for a second.
I came in fixed the goodnight snack thinking- "ah yes we are headed to the bath tub and every one is back on track..."
The boy's finished snack and Mr. K (age 3) or (K-man as I sometimes like to call him here) looks back frantically from the stairs-- "momma we forgot to make me like super man today... we need to get our capes!"  -- I'm like Oh Lord I was so close to the bathtub.  What are we doing now?
"K-man it's time for our baths buddy lets go--"
"momma here's my cape, here's yours, and here's Mr. E's (age 22 months)!"
"Now lets go run back out side, he said merrily".
My heart sank. Now usually this is not the way things go- but the Lord had a hold of my heart and I knew something was going on more than what would ever meet my eye.
I could remember that when I was pregnant with K-man a resounding word that faithful women in my life would pray over me was that "there would be wide open spaces and then there would be all the places K-man would go".

I clipped every ones little capes on and walked to the door.  We opened it and the cold air rushed over my tired anxious skin-- "let's go mommy, we have to run".
Within seconds of us all still standing at the door, down came the rain.  and Down CAME the rain.  E-man, who like me, does not like cold rain, clasp his hands over his head with dread and yelled hopelessly "rain!!"

Mr. K looked back at me and smiled, "momma run with me in the rain".  My heart sank again- (I don't even enjoy walking in the rain in Paris let alone in our backyard.)

I said "I can't, you are much braver than mommy, I just can't, mommy doesn't like the cold or the rain" and so the rain poured down harder-- he looked back and said one very mature word:  "come".  
I closed my eyes and prayed "Jesus please save my sanity" and I ran as hard as I could screaming the whole way to the middle of the yard, K-man by my side.  Mr. E, not wanting to be alone back at the door, ran screaming behind us.

I grabbed each of their little hands and we jumped, laughed and squealed in the rain.  I didn't need perfect rhythm -- I  was exercising my freedom to live in the moment and my kids needed to see that.

They needed to see me run... in the cold rain. They knew that I didn't want to - but I decided to let go of my heart and my mind in front of them. 
I know that right there in the middle of our little yard, something broke out of heart and got more free.
It may have been the most failed moment of textbook rhythm, but it was the greatest moment of our lives's rhythm.

And a reminder that I'm still the girl who loves Jesus with reckless abandonment, tattoos, dread locked hair, sun kissed skin, and the unexpected call to freedom and how to still answer it.
My kids needed to see that in me and I gave it.

I'm free. and K-man is a super hero.

enjoy the moments.  they may not always be planned. but they are purposeful...they are wild. they are not between all the perfect lines.

be free. for them. for you.

Breaking Ground on a Monday, and a meal plan

Woke up this morning-- and faced the day, tired with little sleep.
Beau spent a lot of time late yesterday afternoon and before bedtime talking to the boys about being a spear fisherman and what that was like to catch fish in the ocean... It ended our day very peacefully leading the boys into a great Sunday night slumber.

It also set me up for tonight's supper really well-- wild caught tuna and salmon with sweet potatoes.

I have for about the past year been working on a meal plan that works for our family.  The subject of the meal never changes but the recipe will.  For example along with our daily rhythm pursuit, I always know what we are having for dinner-- it never changes but the recipes do.  It's never boring and I have found that it builds well into our family culture.  Drawing the boys to the table for what I believe is teaching them to be nutritionally thoughtful people.
They also love the expectation of it, Sunday's are pancake nights, and it has become really special to every one.  We've been having "pancake Sunday" for close to year now and it is now very celebrated in our home.

Here is our weekly Dinner time meal plan:

Mondays- A Protein and visible veggies
Tuesday- Tacos
Wednesday- Pasta inspired
Thursday- Leftovers
Friday- homemade pizza party night
Saturday- Greek crockpot
Sunday- PANCAKE SUNDAY!

So it's really simple and within the category there is so much freedom.  If any of you have ever eaten at our table you know that I am catering to a vegan gluten free eater, a major meat eater, and toddlers who well like what they like;)
I would say that our table ebbs and flows from Paleo meat principles to naturally gluten free grains as well as heavy coconut flours and almond flours... and fruit... we always have a fruit.  So within all these food preference demands I'm able to satisfy just about every one.  We get a lot of raw veggies in with green smoothies as well.

Every meal we start at our table, begins with a candle being lit and a prayer... I have found that this signals to even the smallest child that the atmosphere is changing and we are now sharing in a meal.  The candle works... it really works!!! I have done this with my children even when our youngest was a newborn and had no clue what food even was...
Everyone now knows that we stay at the table together until the candle is blown out.  The boys love to blow the candle out together, so it works really well to get even the shortest attention span through a peaceful dinner. Mr. E not even age 2 yet, now finishes his meal by saying "done- blow candle".

It's been really rewarding to see it all start to take shape.  Children love the flicker of the candle and honestly even if every thing around me is out of sorts and a mess-- it seems to ground me as well.

Mr. K and I marinated the fish early this morning before Mr. E woke up. He told me of all the things his dad had told him the night before as we worked together.

Today's rhythm has been flawless... I honestly can't always say that-- but today it was.

The boys had some extra play time outside while I was preparing lunch this afternoon, and the most spectacular thing occurred.  I keep the window open in the kitchen and the back door open so that I can see and hear every thing. I noticed today they are quietly running back and forth from the grass to their designated dig/ mud hole, working together and taking turns handing each other little pieces of grass.  Lunch was ready and I walked to the door... "time for lunch guys!" Mr. K (3 years old) immediately replied - "Mom we have a surprise for you, come see!"  I slipped on my shoes and walked to the mud hole.  I was shocked, they had planted a pretend garden. And it was amazing.  My heart sank because I realized I had turned a corner and broken ground on some things I was wanting so badly to see.  They planned it and made it happen... and there is a little hole in the ground was an imaginary garden filled with grass and uprooted weeds.  They stood on each side so proud to show me there accomplishment.  Mr. K said I'm growing carrots in there and this piece came from the acorn tree!  I sat down and was so thankful-- such breakthrough on building into them things that matter.

We do not watch hardly any TV at all in our home... we are flexible and have grace and of course there is some TV on a lazy night after the kids go to sleep.  But over all, Our children watch very little to none at the moment.  We aren't doing this to be legalistic or primitive, but we just really really value their sacred minds and want to foster them the opportunity to be bored.  I will talk more about boredom later... why its a terrible thing in the later adolescent and teenage years and a really powerful healthy thing for small children.  
So we wait for creativity to happen many days, because we aren't filling in all the gaps for our kids... We don't cram every second filled with something or a noise to keep them busy. We let it go and watch them do amazing things with imagination.
So that's why I'm totally celebrating my kids dumping a bunch of weeds into a mud hole today- this means more than what meets the eye!
With love from our Monday to yours!

One small step, towards giant PEACE.

One of the first things I will be addressing as I begin implementing new things into our home journey is the subject of Rhythm. -- and a raw honest approach to creating a daily Rhythm and weekly Rhythm.
There's so much to say about this subject and it can get overwhelming... I think the natural tendency is to say that children need a "schedule" and that it's helpful to keep one in order to keep peace.

HOWEVER, the methodology of Rhtytm is about the natural flow of the day not a checklist schedule.

It's like a heartbeat, a song, filled with inhale's and exhales giving space for breathing... grace and mistakes.
Where a schedule might act as a check list to get you to bedtime with your sanity slightly still in one piece, a rhythm is the flow of your family culture.
Like rushing water ebbing and flowing, always making time to slow and  move gently around a rock---finding a resting place in a small pool... then moved again by a gentle wind. 

In later blog post I will talk about family culture and how to do that create a tight grace filled "container" to hold the values and gifting of your family. But for now, lets talk about  RHYTHM!

I always chose to wear my children while they were infants up until about the age of two.  For a toddler, it seems it can get you in and out of the grocery store more effectively.
However, in the very early stages of  infancy it was about illustrating the very breath of life and my hearts Rhythm.
My babies were constantly strapped to my chest in a soft comfortable wrap, because I was teaching them about my heart and how it beats... it was here I believe  they learned the "sound of life".

There is no other sound more comforting to a young baby than the sound of it's mother's heartbeat.

I can still remember the sound of my aunt Caroline's heartbeat when she would pull me out of the swimming pool in the summer, wrap me in a warm towel and lay me on her chest... i remember the sound of her voice while listening to her conversate with my sweet mother sitting nearby.  That is powerful for a little mind.

 I was the only one in our family to wear my children in the very very stages of life- not grandmothers not grandfathers but just me... because of the resposibitly I felt to pull them in and keep them close to their own mother's heart.
It may sound silly and over the top...but I believe just as learning to crawl is a pattern needed for reading and writing development later in life-- the pattern of a mother's heartbeat is the first most important rhythm a child should learn in developing a sense of belonging and love-- long before they read or write.

The birth of our first son was an incredibly peaceful water birth, and I experienced the need of a few wonderful nurses after he was born to help with some clotting issues that were very painful.  My arms were empty for a few moments after the birth, and my husband wrapped our son in a blanket with him laying on his bare chest.
If he could not hear my heartbeat, then he was going to hear my husbands.  This was so important to us and we shared in the privilege when a need arose.

Now years later with 2 very active toddlers, I go back to the notion of this beautiful rhythmic sound I offered them faithfully for so many months... and although our oldest still ask to listen to my heart beat-- I have found that there is yet another need to fill:  Rhythm and the heartbeat of our home. 

It's where the mother's heart beats outside her chest... Rhythm is breath for your family.

Now for the practical application on how this can work.

I have found that if I start small I can actually make strong moves forward that last and are most effective for the culture of my home.

The following 4 principles are where we begin with setting Rhythm, and each day has four simple goals:

1. eating
2. sleeping
3. free play
4. fresh air

I find that if I get lost somehow in the mix of the day these four guiding principles re-ground me.

I then take those 4 principles and watch how the normal flow and needs of my children are displayed.  When are they hungry when do they play best? When do they need to rest? When do the toddler meltdowns start?  When do I need to rest?

When I began evaluating the patterns I began noticing the "inhale and exhales" of my children's day.  I have learned that in every "inhale" which represents a dedicated "pulling in" where I give our children my undivided attention, there is a need for an "exhale" directly after.

An "Inhale" or "drawing in" is a time of drawing, painting, crafting together, sitting down as a family to eat together- it is an intentional moment or action where I am actively engaged with my children face to face.  Inhales are the priceless moments in the Rhythm of our day that offer us the incredible moment of "Exhale".

Exhales are when you step back and let them go... breathing out.
Free play, running, fresh air... and indoor play.
For toddlers and young preschool children they will need to be in a visual eyeshot of you, but they will play independently.  This is your exhale as well, you may take a moment to put the soup in the pot or sip a cup of tea but it's a free moment for you to just be.
The Inhale moments of rhythm show our children "i am here for you" I love you-- we are in this thing together... 

The exhale moments are earned in every inhale.  When your children are pulled in constantly to you all day-- they are not able to breathe out effectively.
This was my rookie mistake in being a first time mom.  I felt like my son had to have all of my attention, all of the time. and this just isn't so.
It was 'Inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale..." all day long.  He really just needed an "exhale" and so did I!

From this knowledge, along with the help of many many wise Waldorf methods in priceless books, I began to map out my family's daily rhythm.

The following is what we "breathe" to... I have added some time frames in here in case you are a recovering schedule addict to help establish how it works!



We are still working out the dynamic of our weekly Rhythm for spring with the warm weather on and off again each day, but here is a constant snap shot of our day's.

DAILY RHYTHM

• waking up-- I usually wake up before any one else to have me time... pray, yoga, a warm cup of coffee or tea. Throw a load of laundry in the wash, map out dinner... I get a head of every one and am grounded.
•   A beautiful goal is 5:45 am  to make it across the street to yoga or barre at 6 am.  Most of the time I arrive home by 7 and everyone is still asleep!! It's wonderful! 
• 7:15 ish breakfast, we sit down together and eat ;) (inhale)
• 8 am clean up and dish washing. 
• dish washing always leads to free play! 
• 9:30 outdoor play is ideal (exhale)
• 10:30 transition inside for snack time, tea, and a story (inhale)
• 11:00 free play indoors (exhale)
• 11:45 lunch and dishes (inhale)
• 12:45 Nap and quiet time (exhale)
• 2:30 ish snack and lots of hugs, back rubs for the babes to gently re-enter play time (inhale)
• 3:00 ish Walk or outdoor free play! (exhale)
• 4:00 dinner prep with toddler helpers (inhale)
• 5:00 ish we eat! We sit together say a blessing, light a candle and eat! (inhale)
• 5:30 clean up and free play in the den (exhale)
• 6:30 a sleepy time snack (inhale)
• 7:00 bath, brush teeth, 
• 7:45 prayers/ book reading and lights out! (exhale)

I will elaborate more on Rhythm in detail in the following post:

• What does a weekly Rhythm look like?
• What does breakfast look like?
• Why snacks? and what Snacks?
• Do you ever leave your house?!! are you crazy?!!
• A candle and a blessing at dinner?
• How to integrate clean up time with even the youngest toddler?
• A simple dinner plan that works for every week... NO Guessing.
• What's the point of all the wooden toys?
• What about TV during the day?

I pray that this has been super helpful and not overwhelming or frustrating!! Remember just take one step at a time and I promise a more peaceful home!

here goes-

Well, This I hope will serve as a place to hideout. A place to celebrate the triumphant journey of our home becoming a waldorf inspired holistic haven.  A place to help guide the failures of a mothering path that is less chosen at times.  I pray the failures are few and that the triumphs of our home can encourage you too to keep going... expand your brain and stretch yourself to choose a peaceful parenting style.

A little about me-- I'm a professional artist...
I am the mother of 2 amazing boys, I'll be referring to my babes here as K-man and E-man.  They are the best two things that have ever happened to me.  It has been an interesting season learning to mother them best.  I am the wife to Beau of 11 years;) we do life well together and we have chosen a journey that we hope is filled with the peace we are promised.

I hope to inspire someone to begin thinking of mothering differently and maybe even birthing differently... It's here I will discuss being a birth advocate for women. Maybe even a voice in the dark at times.  I believe in advocacy that gives women the opportunity to be informed about their birth choices and to say "no" to fear and anxiety at every turn.  I have very strong opinions on birth and the rights we have to empowerment-- no matter what birth journey we choose to walk down.  You will hear those here.

However, the most important part of this blog for me at the moment is to provide an honest voice for every day mom life.  It's hard to feel alone in a world we were designed to not be alone in... Maybe this blog can help each of us create a tribe of our own.  Maybe this is your only tribe like mine at the moment... just words on a page, but so powerful--- because I know they will be kindred with a mother somewhere.

Enjoy the writings.  they will be humble and honest.